The start of a new series: "Home"
I'm thinking to start a set of watercolor drawings of all the places I've considered home...excluding the places I've purposeful blocked from my memory. I find myself ALWAYS going back to this theme. Do I really feel like I don't fit in? or rather I'm always searching for a common sense of home.
I got into an argument with my roommate about that stupid youtube video, where a white UCLA student (Political Science major of all things) rants on Asian kids. She found it funny, I found it infuriating. I thought about what she said; Asian- Asians are different from Asian- Americans. I know this but I didn't really feel like it made a difference. I was wrong. I also was very emotional that day from a long day of work. It may be because I work for an organization that makes claiming your identity as an Asian -American it's top priority. Yeah I would say, it's on my mind a lot.
I also grew up with a lot of white friends, so I didn't really know what it was like to be Asian. It's silly right? Why is it that Asian- Americans (I'm making a generalization here) feel they have to always fight. ALWAYS! Frankly I'm tired of every fucking person's pity me story regardless of race. My dad's siblings and my family lived in one house after coming here by boat. My dad and mom helped sponsor all 6 of his siblings so my sister's and I didn't go to a better school. My uncle was called a dirty Jap all through his high school yearbook. You want more? I could go for fucking days of all the unfair race shit I've grown up with. But you know what I don't parade my struggle, I don't introduce myself as the byproduct of worn torn countries. Because I grew up with every kind of love one can imagine, my parents made me feel like any other kid. BUT when some stupid bitch goes on and makes a huge generalization of Asians, I'm fucking pissed and there's good reason to be. I have all this pent up anger and I don't know who it's aimed at. Knowing me, its aimed towards myself
wow. this is a lot deeper than my previous blogs. Hope I didn't scare any of you.
I need to take more ethics classes to solve my identity crisis....
